Why You Should Date Your Spouse

Dating shouldn’t stop at the altar.

In the beginning, the reason for dating is to get to know someone better to see if this is a good fit. Yet, for those who have been married for a while, they may see dating as a waste of time, energy and money. Rather, dating your spouse should begin with a desire to have a much deeper understanding of each other.

Here are some reasons that you may have forgotten during your dating phase that will hopefully get you back into dating your spouse.

Dating consists of:

  •  Fascinating and effortless conversations. Dating partners tend to value opposing opinions, and readily accept that they disagree over certain quirks. Most married couples presume about each other’s views and refuse to recognize that an individual may change as the years pass.
  • Exciting plans. Whichever partner takes the lead, the date is usually well-planned and may even come with one or two surprises. Instead of going to new places and taking part in new activities, married couples tend to go out to the usual places they’ve been going to for years.
  • Warm body language. A happy couple in a restaurant is easy to pick. They have intentional communication when they laugh and smile at each other. Married couples oppose or overreact to their spouse’s body language without checking their assumptions and reverting to avoidance and exaggeration.
  • Letting go of past mistakes. Dating couples let go of perceived offenses. They just break-up if things are not working out. In contrast, married couples remember past indiscretions which can lead to heated fights. Couples who date while married remain friendly, gentle, and respectable.
  • New and exciting adventures. Any new adventure would help a dating couple enjoy each other’s company enthusiastically. This is where many married couples are lacking in their lives. The passing of time will build years of bitterness, unresolved anger and lack of forgiveness. A boost in passion is just what is required to overcome unresolved problems.

How to Get Started on Dating

Plan a bi-monthly date night, even though it sounds uncomfortable at first. Use this valuable time to reconnect with your spouse.

If you don’t have a good connection, you may need to make the time to go out. Above all, try to add new things wherever you can–a new bar, a new game, or a new trip.

Ultimately, couples bond better with novelty, according to several love experts including the scientist Dr. Art Aron. Then, plan new places and activities together. Start small and see what happens. You will be on your way to feeling together again, by prioritizing connection in real, effective ways.