How to Navigate Divorce

Divorce is a word that many couples avoid as long as possible. Understandably, many people remain together to try to work things out or to avoid separating the family.

No matter how you get here, once you get to the point where you both decide to end your marriage, you inevitably have to face the challenges that come with it. This may mean a long road or legal bindings, financial obstacles, and emotional turmoil, which can be extremely stressful for you, your partner, and your children.

With that being said, you are not alone, and a divorce is a normal event that is sometimes the healthiest choice for everyone involved. If you are given the proper tools, support, and resources, you and your partner can amicably end your marriage.

Although navigating a divorce can feel like a lonesome process, there are several resources available to help you. Whether you need assistance legally, financially, or mentally, many tools can help you during this stressful time.

Prevent Stress

With a divorce, stress is unfortunately inevitable. However, it is also manageable. Everyone’s way of coping with divorce is different, valid, and personalized, so try to discover what works best for you.

For example, if you find joy in practicing meditation, prioritize a 30-minute relaxation exercise before meeting with your divorce lawyer. If meditation isn’t for you, maybe walking, reading, or a spa day is.

Validate Each Other’s Feelings

Although it may be hard to remember a time when you and your partner weren’t in the middle of divorce proceedings, you were in love with this person at one point in your life. Even if you may not always agree with how the other person feels, it is important to validate them.

Empathize with their perspective and listen to each other. Save tough conversations for when you are both emotionally calm and collected. If emotions run high, step out and take breaks to cool off. Divorce is an emotion-filled process and it can be difficult to be empathetic under high duress.

Prepare Your Legal Team

It’s not the fun part of the process, but it is necessary to prepare for some of the messier aspects of divorce. Hire a good, experienced attorney and file your divorce papers promptly.

Don’t create power struggles with your partner, especially in a legal manner. When it comes to matters of the heart, Involving your lawyer should be the very last thing you should do. If this divorce is not a situation where your life or personal safety is on the line, try your absolute best to approach marital issues respectfully.

Seek Out Mental Health Care

Divorce is stressful, but if it is getting to the point where you are having a difficult time managing your mental health, approach a professional. If you’ve been noticing a significant difference in your emotional wellbeing, please approach a counselor to talk about the divorce in a neutral, judgment-free setting.

Organize Your Finances

On top of everything else, filing for divorce is expensive. The process involves the division of finances and assets as well.  With that in mind, try to plan by having proof of income, assets, and debts ready before you even meet with your lawyer or enter the court.

File Divorce Papers

Unless your partner has already done it for you, you will need to file divorce papers to prove that you and your current spouse are officially ending the marriage. This is important for legal and financial reasons.

Reach Out to Others

Reach out to your friends and family, especially if you are having a difficult time processing the divorce. Because you have shared a significant portion of your life with this person, it can affect everyone involved. Your loved ones will want to help you, so let them support you during this difficult time.

If Children Are Involved…

The first thing that you and your partner should do is be honest with your children, no matter how old they are. They may not completely understand yet, but if you explaining what is happening is the first step to ensuring children have the resources they need to cope.

When it comes to you and your partner’s grievances with each other, keep it away from your child. Don’t put your child in the middle, and never use them as a way to get back at your partner. Remember, this is about ending the relationship with your current spouse, not their relationship with you.

Above all, let your kids know that you both love them, no matter what happens. If they express negative feelings associated with the divorce, validate them. Take accountability for moments of weakness, and allow yourself to amicably end the marriage without your children experiencing immense amounts of trauma.