When a relationship is already broken, marriage counseling often becomes divorce counseling.
Not every counselor is devoted to saving every marriage. And really, this is how it should be. Couples with recurring infidelity or abuse may truly be better off apart.
Counselors don’t have magic powers. Their purpose is to help you understand and accept what’s happening in your life.
A counselor is tasked with understanding what is best for the couple. If they believe divorce is actually a healthier choice than reconciliation, they will give you the tools to divorce peacefully.
Long story short…
If your wife doesn’t want to do marriage counseling, or if she’s only going because you’re forcing her to, then you may as well save your money. In this case, counseling will either be used to validate your wife’s decision to leave, or to make you spend more time “working on” the problems that have no real solution.
Here are a few things you can try, to make your marriage better:
- Compliment your spouse daily
- Buy them their favorite drink (Starbucks, tea, a bottle of wine)
- Reach for their hand when watching TV
- Talk about the little things
- Don’t keep secrets
- Initiate sex
- Apologize when you’re wrong
- Take a walk hand in hand
- Go to bed together
- Start committing to the 60 Second Blessing
- Send flirty texts and emails throughout the day
- Appreciate all that your spouse does
- Give more and expect less
- Simplify your life so you have more time for connection
- Schedule date nights regularly
- Ask for what you want and need (your spouse isn’t mind reader)
- Stay healthy and try to look your best
- Remove the television from your bedroom
- Create shared goals
- Volunteer together
- Offer to help with the daily chores
- Make forgiveness part of your marriage strategy
- Give grace freely
- Listen with empathy
- Talk a little less and listen more
- Turn off your phone
- Go on a weekend getaway just you two
- Plan and stick to a budget
- Remember that you’re on the same team
- Always kiss goodnight
- Be the first to say SORRY
- Be quick to defend your spouse’s honor
- Write a love letter
- Sleep naked
- Be willing to have tough conversations
- Don’t give up
- Choose to love even when you don’t feel like it
- Make honesty your best policy
- Ask for a redo
- Eat dinner together
- Always discuss major purchases before making them
- Remove the word “DIVORCE” from your vocabulary
- Say NO to something so you can say YES to your marriage
- Dream together
- Learn something new together
- Respect your spouse’s opinion
- Be vulnerable
