In our previous blog, we went over some of the top signs that someone may be codependent. If you suspect that you may be codependent, it’s okay. There are several ways to work through these feelings of codependency, and we would like to share those with you today. If you would like help working through your emotions, it may be time to contact a therapist at Counseling Services of Parker today!
Validation
Codependency starts with seeking validation from others. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it can become troublesome if others are not telling you what you want to hear and you begin to question your self-worth because of this. A codependent person will seek reassurance in nearly every aspect of their life, which can lead to a lowered sense of self-esteem and confidence. Here are a few ways to learn to overcome codependency, as well as validate and support yourself.
Praise Yourself
You are capable of doing things well and making good choices. Congratulate your successful decisions and give yourself credit where credit is due. We suggest creating a gratitude journal and documenting the things you are most thankful for, including the best parts about you and the actions you took during the day. This regular praise teaches you to turn this practice into a habit of self-validation you can rely on when you need.
Tell Yourself What You Need to Hear
Before you seek someone else’s validation, ask yourself what it is you are hoping that they say. If you aren’t looking for their advice or opinion, you are most likely looking for them to say you aren’t a bad person or that you deserve more love and care. You want someone else to tell you that they see the best in you. Now give yourself that validation! If you do decide to look for advice, validate yourself first. When you talk to your friend and go into the situation believing what they tell you, what they say will be much more powerful.
Notice When You Are Judging Your Feelings
If you tend to feel bad about having negative emotions, you are more likely to end up feeling stuck and helpless. Tell yourself that you are entitled to feel whatever it is you’re are feeling. Then, you can take the time to process your emotions and work through them because they won’t be making you feel guilty. Start accepting your feelings, and then ask for support for the actual problem at hand!
Ask Yourself What You Need
When we feel down on ourselves, we often punish ourselves in some way. When you are feeling down, ask yourself what you body needs, what your mind needs, and what your spirit needs. What will make you feel better in this moment? It could be as small as a glass of water, or perhaps a walk outdoors to clear your mind. When you address your needs and act upon them, you are reinforcing that your needs matter. Take control of what you need, then tell yourself that you are the one who can improve things.
Contact a Therapist
While there is nothing wrong with seeking validation and support from friends and loved ones, it’s important to be able to give yourself that kind of support first and foremost. Practice these techniques and see where it takes your mental state! For more self-validation tips and helpful ways to overcome codependency, please contact us! Our professionals want to help you as you learn to handle your emotions and complex feelings. Call us today to schedule an appointment at Counseling Services of Parker.
