Couples therapy can be an experience that can unnerve most people. Sometimes they expect therapy to turn into a heated battle or, to make matters worse, they believe that the psychiatrist will pick parties and make choices. However, any couple who undergo treatment is a great initial step in building a better relationship. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) works to ease fears and to learn more about each other.
What EFT Entails
EFT involves talking about certain incidents in your relationship but only to help each of you to learn more about your emotions and behavior. For instance, you may talk to your partner about washing the dishes and how you feel. Do you feel irritated? What else did you feel? Do you feel that your partner is “not good enough” and that makes you feel like you have disappointed your partner? Does that make you want to pull away from your partner?
EFT consists of three-stage, nine-step program with a therapist. The therapist must first build strong relationships with the clients and develop a supportive rapport in which the couple can relax and talk about their feelings easily.
The first step is known as “assessment and cycle de-escalation.” The couple must recognize the tensions and the cycle of conflict in these sessions. Then, they can identify their undisclosed emotions. The final step is to reframe and unite themselves, not their victims, against the cycle.
The pair need to have new bonding events in the next step, more precisely, to build relatable therapeutic interactions. This is achieved by: identifying needs that were long denied, boosting more acceptance between partners, and expressing each partner’s needs and desires.
The last phase is designed to change and consolidate. Couples need to find new approaches to old issues that would be easier since they have overcome problems of emotional attachment.
Many EFT therapists have said that working with couples can be a complex process. Often, couples cannot see the one thread that ties the picture together without EFT. EFT gives you an insight into where and what to do. This includes a road map to grasp relationships with people.
EFT professionals state that the technique is extremely effective and has been tested empirically. At least some improvement was made in relationships by an outstanding 75 percent of couples.
The Next Step to a Better Relationship
A couple may attempt to meet their needs for commitment. They can try to rely on secondary emotions that may ultimately drive each other away. Conflict can lead to loneliness and disconnection that can lead to making both partners feel lonely, unhappy, angry, hurt and distant from each other. This disconnection is not easy to fix by themselves.
A trained therapist can help you realize the relationship dynamic by EFT, understand the feelings behind it and figure out how to communicate in a different and more profound way to each other.